It's been really busy these past two weeks with studying for exams, first day of volunteering, a few research meetings, a few club events, and just other priorities that I haven't had the time to really relax and enjoy myself. Actually, I did enjoy myself a lot this weekend by having an flipping fantastic dinner/hangout at my apartment, doing laundry with Wing, and hanging out with Bridget. I also did a lot of my own thing in my apartment, but all at the expense of studying or sleeping. Even now, I'm writing this instead of sleeping. (Well...I'm also watching Hey Arnold!)
I feel like I'm in a nook right now where I kind of want to have my cake and eat it too. It's not a really tight nook, but I'm in there. I'm an upperclassmen in college. There's no doubt that I have a lot of responsibilities, and things I'm preparing for (such as graduate school and an adult career), but DAMN! I want some time back. I want to take back some empty days last year I spent by myself and go out or something. Or learn something new. Or do something new. Or do a club. I told a few freshmen this year, "There are a lot of clubs here at U of I. If there's anything you want to try or learn, don't waste your time. Sign up and check it out because you have the time now." Man, I should have told myself that.
It's easy to complain about how I wish things were different and how I wish I had more, but it's not really all about that. I'm not about regret....but I think admitting these things helps me set some goals. I want to catch up on my studies. There's some interesting stuff to learn. I'm wasting my education here. I want to read some books I've had my eyes on. The library at the U of I is one of the best, and I'm not gonna be here forever. Yoga!! Gosh I have to incorporate yoga in my life!! I need to relax and just listen to music in the living room. I want to sing with some friends. I want to go out to a dance or something. I want to play some sports. I want to flippin' unpack, so I can take pictures and post em up.
Watching Hey Arnold! is another goal of mine. I started watching this as I ate my giant skillet of fried rice, and man do I miss this show. I forgot how much I love this show. I can't even explain it, but boy does it mean a lot to be watching these episodes again. Ahhh...it's nice to appreciate something....like this...so simply.
I understand what you mean about looking back at college and realizing that there's much more you could have done. At the same time, its also key to consider what is most important to you and prioritizing. In reality, there's an infinite number of things you could do at UIUC. Its about figuring out whats best for you in each moment. I'm the same though. I feel like I'm missing out on so many things I want to do for myself: playing tennis, reading a book for fun, taking pictures, and watching a good TV show. But if I did all of these things in addition to what I already am doing, I wouldn't take enough breaks. Shoot, I wouldn't sleep. Its a matter of setting aside time for fun but also realizing that you have to prioritize. And like you said, realizing how much you wish you had done is a great way to set goals.
ReplyDeleteI guess what I'm getting at is that you CAN have your cake and eat it too.Maybe a bit much for a blog comment? Shoot, I don't care. I'm about to buy some cake. And eat it too...maybe.
While I read your comment, I wanted to list a bunch of things you've done that I haven't. But I don't think that's necessary because then we start to get greedy about wanting more and more without realizing what we already have...or in this case, what we've already done.
ReplyDeleteI think we talked about that a lot last year... where I'm jealous of what you've done and you're jealous of what I've done (maybe?... I don't like speaking for people) but when we start doing that, we lose appreciation. Ahh....appreciation.
Anyways, you have good points. Prioritizing. I can't do everything. If I got to read or whatever, maybe I won't be volunteering then I'll be posting about that. And etc etc.
And in a way, yEah...we CAN have our cake and eat it too. Well, I think we have already have our cake and we're eating it right now. We got our cake...it's good cake. But I was wanting more cake. I wasn't even done with the cake I have now...this cake thing is getting out of hand.
Oh, I know which cake you'd want. That carrot/pineapple/raisin cake that I made for my dad last last summer that you tried. I hope you remember it, you claimed it was the best cake you ever had.
ReplyDeleteOh and back to seriousness, I think you should also look back and think of all the things YOU'VE done since college has started. I won't list em', you too modest.
Exactly. That's what I mean about eating my cake :D
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, the cake would be that one. I only remember the pineapple though. I didn't know it had carrot or raisins either. Ooh...that rainbow cake is good too. Ooh....carrot cake is super bomb too! Kim would know. And Eileen makes really good carrot cake. LOL...now this whole thing is gonna be about cake.